Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Lucky Mom

 I know I don't use this blog enough to record all the details of my boys and every single little thing they do or say that makes me smile. But tonight I had one of those moments to reflect on how much love I have for my boys, particularly Chase, who's really gotten jipped in the blogosphere. 

 Chase is the easiest baby to get to bed. Give him his "geta" (his blanket), a kiss goodnight, and he grabs his right hand thumb and we see him in the morning. But tonight he was having trouble going down so I went in and kept the room dark as I sat and rocked my 20 month old "baby," to sleep. The dishes were sitting on the counter below me, the laundry was scattered in piles across my bathroom floor, blogs were outdated, and emails needed replying to but none of those distractions seemed to be calling my name. As I sat there holding him I was reminded how soon this time passes and how I wish there was such thing as a virtual recorder so we could one day go back and experience moments like this. It freaks me out thinking about when my boys are older and too old to sit on my lap, to want to give me hugs and kisses, to not remember what I was like when they were young, for me to forget how few freckles they once had, how innocent and pure their little giggles once were, how easy it was to make them smile, how forgiving they were of my imperfections as a mother. These little people are not little for long and as much as I want them to reach that stage when they're more able, more relatable, more appreciative, I wish they could stay this way forever and I could remember how easy it is to love. I want them to be able to read this one day and know that I did appreciate this time in my life. As hard as some days, some weeks, some months, and some years have been, to have 15 minutes to rock my sweet baby to sleep tonight, to feel him nuzzle into that special shoulder spot and feel completely safe and loved in my arms is enough for me to keep doing this Mom thing. How lucky I am. 

10 comments:

erin said...

How timely! My 2 year old is the last child up and has been the last week. Thanks for reminding me to slow things down and cuddle her a little bit longer as she won't be as willing in a few years. My thoughts are yours tonight.

Harris Beach Bums said...

loved this post. very sweet.

Ann said...

You usually make me laugh when you post. This time you made me cry.

Rachel said...

amen.

Nancy said...

I admire you for not only taking the moment but sharing it with us. My baby turns 28 this month and I used to enjoy snuggling with her more than anything else in the world. I can never get those days back, but your blog helped me remember them with a new intensity. Thanks, I love you and your babies.

Jessica Sorensen said...

You have the cutest little boys.

Kelli Salter said...

you watched oprah didn't you...

lovely post

Carras said...

Now THAT Ash...was a blog post. I loved picturing you and Chase having a moment...probably would have never happened in Manhattan, but we still miss you. BTW-we got a house! Love you.

Carras said...

crap..I am signed in as Carras. Would it be creepy if he was telling you that he loved you...oh but he does!

kim & co. said...

That snuggle time before bed when they let you rock them is my absolute favorite and one of those moments that I wish could last forever. (when I'm wiping a poopy bum for the 5th time of the day, I think I can't wait for them to grow up.)

Your kids are beautiful.