Money-Makers

Soon after school began Toby begged to set up a lemonade stand. I was hesitant because I didn't want him to be disappointed with a lack of customers. Who knew these cute faces could make so much money in one hour? Most of the customers didn't want the lemonade and gave well over the "25 cents or 50 cents" price. $19 was the grand total for their hour's worth of work. Hmmm what else could I have them sit there and sell?

First Day of School

You would think I would have been the first one to post these pictures because I would've liked to have found another Mother in America who was more excited than me to send a kid to Kindergarten.

I had been counting down to this momentous day for the past year. It was great for us all. Ben also had his first day of Preschool and as the twinkle fingers show, he was very excited. They both did great and had absolutely NO FEAR.

The Santa Card

As soon as Toby was old enough to grasp the concept of Santa Clause I started using that as a way to get him to do or not do anything for the month of December. Many of you might recall my moment as the worst Mom ever when in the middle of the night Toby kept getting out of his bed and coming into our room. Todd, in his eternally patient way tried to reason with Toby but was having no success. So after listening to this for quite some time I flung my sheets off, stomped as loud as I could down the hallway and I stood at his door and told him that if he got out of bed one more time Santa would take all the toys he had made him and throw them into the fire. Yep, that was me. And although I was not proud of that moment as a Mother, I must say, it worked. He stayed in bed and went to sleep after that. Although, I'm sure the damage done will manifest itself later on in life.

So I figured that the day after Halloween was not too early to start pulling out the Santa card on my kids. Christmas is already everywhere in the stores, so why not in my discipline toolbox? I've used it twice already. Ben was having a tantrum about his clothes the other night, which is usual these days. He wanted a very specific combination of pajamas. So I finally reminded him that Santa was watching him and was going to put him on the "naughty list," if he kept it up. Once again it worked.

But last night it backfired on me. I was on the phone with Todd after I had put the boys in bed for what felt like the 50th time and I was fed up with Ben making every excuse his little 4 year old brain could come up with to get out of bed. So I went back up, tucked him, and in a very rude and angry tone of voice told him that if he gets out one more time he would be in big trouble and then said, "And remember, Santa Clause is watching you."

To which he replied, "NO!!! HE'S WATCHING YOU!!!"

Todd busted up on the other end of the phone and I had to giggle to myself as I walked back downstairs. Do you ever feel like you start acting as bad as your children sometimes? I love these boys. As naughty as they can be, it's the moments that follow that remind you how fun and sometimes funny parenting can be. Or it's the conversations that follow the long timeouts after the worst tantrums in the world, where you see how sweet and sensitive your children really are.

So here's to us all staying off the "naughty list" this holiday season. Brace yourselves...it's coming.

Debby Downer Misses New York

Let me explain...

So if I let any of you down by not giving more details on why we up and left New York two months ago, I apologize. Todd and I have a tendency to make decisions pretty quickly. Like our children's names. Some people sit and ponder and fight and change their minds over and over up til the day the kid is born, but not us. We pick our names as soon as we think we've conceived and bam that's their name for their whole life. Kind of scary, but that's how we do it. It's not that we don't put thought into our decisions, it's just that once we make up our mind, we like to get it done.

So back to New York...When we moved there last year I remember thinking, I'm never going to leave this place. It was magical to me. Central Park was dreamy. The storefronts were inspiring. The mailman became our closest friend. The street noise below put us to sleep each night. I really was in love. The Fall in New York City is just how it appears in the movies. It really is something.

I remember telling Todd how afraid I was that I would never want to leave that city and I was afraid because that had not been a part of my life plan. I married Todd KNOWING we would raise our kids in Southern California like a surfer boy and his sun-worshiping wife should do. That was the plan. Boston for 3.5 years was a total stretch for us, but we did it and came to really appreciate the New England way of life, so different than what we had been raised with. When Todd was offered his job in New York City it was almost laughable. We just thought, we are not going to fit in at all there. But it was an adventure for us and we said we'd do it until it didn't work for our family anymore. I was pretty sure it wasn't going to be our forever, but did not think it would be as short as it ended up being for us.

The reason we left New York...well...for those of you who came and stayed with us for any amount of time, I think you KNOW how crazy it was in our apartment with the boys. Our apartment wasn't the smallest NYC apartment out there, but it definitely was not big enough for the energy of my 3 boys and all the stuff they require. Chase, as many of you know, slept in the closet the whole time we lived there so we had enough space for all the other necessities of life. They were loud, they were needy, they were cooped up, and their parents did not have a million (if that's even enough) dollars to put them in preschool and all the cool NYC classes offered to kids there. I think that's the only way to live sanely, comfortably, and kindly in NY. You really have to have A LOT of money.

Todd ended up being on cases in other cities most of the time, so it was me and the boys most of the time. Which doesn't sound that bad right? Well, you add a neighbor below you who wants you dead because you have 3 kids, an outrageous rent, and a 24-7 daycare and it equals a Mommy on the Verge. I honestly think I was beginning to go crazy near the end. I thought it was the winter and that everything would get better once summer came and we could be outside more, but the fact of the matter was, I still had a baby that napped twice a day and it was a TON of work getting all of us out the door of our building and back in. I think what I'm trying to say is that it was really, really, really hard. Being a mom is hard. Being a mom of 3 (or more) is even harder, and then forcing it all into our apartment was maybe just asking for it.

I think Todd saw that I was slightly going insane and so when the option came to move back to Boston because our renters here couldn't stay in our home it seemed like a way out of some of the misery we were putting ourselves through.

I'm making it sound like it was pure Hell. But it wasn't. Even up until a week before we moved we had conversations about how much we loved it and if we really wanted to leave. It was a tough decision, dare I say tougher than naming our kids? Yes, I dare. In the end it felt right.

So we did. And now, this week I am doubting. I literally tear up thinking about what I gave up. And maybe it's just the time of the year. Or maybe it's all the blogs I've been reading about NYC trips. And maybe I'm really lonely here in Winthrop. Maybe I just want to have a normal family where Todd could be home with us during the week. I don't know. But I've never been homesick for something like this except for when I was a freshman in college and I called my parents every night begging to leave BYU and just wanting to be back. I'm feeling that way about the city and I wish I weren't. I wish I was glad to be away from it, from all the painful days it put me through, from all the mean old ladies who frowned upon my laid back parenting, from the old radiators that clanked through night and heated our apartment like an oven. But that is not the case, and I don't quite know what to do with myself.

In the end, this has been a good move. My boys are happier. They have a backyard to play in. Although it has more dirt than grass. They can run across the street and play at their friend's house. We have over double the living space. I have a car. We can afford preschool for Ben. There definitely are good things. But selfishly I wish I could be in New York. Ron, I think you were right.

This is a downer post. I'm bummin' and I don't want to go clean up the kitchen.

He did it! He turned 4!

If you know Ben well and have been around him at any point in the past year, you'll know that he has been counting down the days and months til the big day when he turned 4. And today he did just that and couldn't be more proud of himself. I loved every minute of it.

This picture is so funny to me. "You are special today...here's some heated up chicken nuggets."

After a day filled with little "specials" we finished it with whatever dinner he chose...which, to no surprise, was chicken nuggets and chocolate milk. Mmmm. So we all joined him in this dinner and some birthday cake and ice cream, made just to his liking. There was a lot of twinkle fingers today so I know it was a good day for him. This little guy has charmed us from day one and we consider ourselves very lucky to be his family. Here's to many more joy-filled years with you Ben-Ben!

To the love of my life...

Hello fans & readers of Ashley's blog. I'd like to begin this blog post with a disclaimer. While the URL might lead you to believe that I have a prominent role in the wit and brilliance of the content shared on this site, this as you know is far from the truth. In fact this is my first time every writing here. Might I also suggest that given my Monday-Thrusday absence from the family over the past 6 months, leaving Ashley week-after-week alone at home to fare for herself with our 3 very energetic children, a more apt title for the blogpost might be "AshleyHarrisFamilyWithoutTodd.blogspot.com"
But, before I dig my self to deep here, I'd like to change topics to let you all know how lucky of a person I count myself to be. When I met Ashley 8 years ago and asked her to marry me, I thought she was cute and would be a devoted companion and mother. I could never have imagined at that time how much I would grow to adore her. Not only has she become more beautiful to me everyday, but I never imagined how much I would cherish her companionship and how wonderful of a mom she would turn out to be. I think my mom stated is best calling her a "pioneer" for what she takes on everyday with those boys of ours - I might add she's a little more stylish then how you typically picture a pioneer. So, in honor of her (drum roll please) 28TH BIRTHDAY please join me in honoring this special person on this special day. ASH, I LOVE YOU! THANK YOU FOR BEING SO WONDERFUL!!!